Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
