i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
