Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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