Buhtt sex?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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