dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize