should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
