Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
