not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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