I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
