I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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