my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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