I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
