so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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