did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
