Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
