Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
