just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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