Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
