walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
