Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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