You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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