I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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