Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
