Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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