She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
