Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
