Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
