There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Welp...herpes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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