Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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