If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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