when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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