have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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