And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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