So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
