how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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