I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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