Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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