Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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