Nicole vs. Life
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
