seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
God, you're like boner-b-gone
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
