when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
