I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize