Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
