So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
