I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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