I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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