my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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