God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
