i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
