But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
