You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
