bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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