its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You ruined the universe
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
