Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
