I wanna bring you to show and tell
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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