She is in my trunk
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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